Just about bordering on odd, I see things through different eyes.The heading says it all - I live, I love, I craft, I am me...

11/01/2019

The mythical healing properties of the (Not so) humble cat

My dear human,
you are a sniveling, snotty mess.
You appear to have completely melted into the settee.
As a superior  cat,  I can neither condone or condemn this shameful dropping of standards.
You appear to be weak and defenseless against my powers!
I shall stomp on you,  meow loudly on your face with my fish-biscuity breath to give you much needed encouragement.
I shall knead your chest as I  purr-chant magical feline sagas to expel all coughs and hairballs.
At night,  when you are at your most germ-ridden weakest, I will  walk on you, whisper sweet cat-charms as I bestow upon you a mystical spell to aid your healing.

You can thank me later. No, I insist ... You will thank me later, but you can start by getting off the settee and feed me.... gah what does a superior cat have to do around here to keep some sort of order!
I will be keeping a beady eye on you ...
love
Pepper (your superior cat)

11 comments:

  1. A very amusing post and a great photo, I love it :)

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  2. Get well soon. That was A joy to read

    Julie xxxxxxxx

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  3. I hope Pepper is doing his hot water bottle impersonation as well keeping you cosy and warm.
    Get well (hugs)

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  4. I do believe that the only time the words humble and cat should appear in the same sentence together is when the humans are eating humble pie!
    Arilx

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  5. Well done Pepper; if her attentions and magic spells/chants don't work, I'll have to think of something else to cure you (without coming near you)1

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  6. Hope you are soon feeling better. Just catching up after a few days away. Maybe a holiday to sunny Oz, would do the trick for those sniffles? Rest up & take care. Huggles to all.

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  7. Cats are such a comfort. Hope you feel better soon:)

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  8. I think Pepper has secretly been reading 'Simon's Cat' as she is behaving in much the same way ....feed me! Love the way she is peeping at you out of one eye. Do hope her m
    agic is doing the trick! Get well soon. xx

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  9. Dear Exhalted Feline,

    You are clearly as wise as you are beautiful. Your concerns about the condition of your Hooman are noted.

    Now get out of the way and let the Dog make Mummy better by licking her socks, leaving hair all over the chair and resting her head across Mummy's ankles for so long that she looses all sense of feeling in her toes. . .

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  10. Hmm, how did I get an H in exalted? Perhaps I should blame the dog who wants to put her head on the edge of the laptop, perhaps I should get a spelling cat? {perhaps I shouldn't have had a little glass of wine with supper?}

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