Just about bordering on odd, I see things through different eyes.The heading says it all - I live, I love, I craft, I am me...

23/05/2013

24 hours in the life of a Pan-cat

Dear Diary,
my humans are under the impurrression that I do nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

This statement is completely untrue and I wish to cat-a-log my very very busy day. I shall start my records from 1am.

01.00am House is all dark, my humans are asleep - what lazy creatures they are, they lie deep in their beds while I run up and down the stairs with my favourite sponge balls in my mouth - oh what delight as I scamper up and down (light as a furry feather) and clatter in and out of the bathroom. I ruffle up the bath mat because it looks soo much better like that - I wish my humans would leave it but No-o-o they have to flatten it out each time. Sigh...better go and lie on the big humans' bed - just make sure they are all right, they might need a bit of cat-protection from monsters.

05.00am It is getting light, my humans ARE STILL ASLEEP - and they say I do nothing?? Time to kiss them, each and every one with my icy cold nose - just to show them that I do love them despite their sloth like behaviour.

05.30am repeat the above exercise - I only got a partial response - two just slept on in their beds, one snorted and grunted and the last one stroked my back and tickled my neck - result!

05.35am cancel that last happy comment - was booted off bed by snorty and grunty one..... going to find a spider to drop in his mouth - ha! That will teach him.

06.00am - Time to get humans up. They have DefiNiTely OVER SLEPT!

06.35am Raced one human to the bathroom as she yawned her way across the hall. I have finally trained her that before she purrrforms any of her ablutions, she is to turn on the tap so I can have a drink.

06.45am Already in the kitchen awaiting breakfast. Service is slow this morning as both big humans stumble about doing things - not sure what all I know is I am NOT getting fed......


7am - 7.20am All four humans are bumbling about at various stages of panic - never really sure what they are doing but they seem to speed up and all crash out the door in one noisy lump. The house is finally mine again - I only keep them indoors to ensure the fire and food is ready for me (although I have to say that the staff do need reminding every now and then) right, a quick nap to keep my strength up.....


10.30am - that was a good little nap. Now to check what is going on around outside. Plenty of humans wandering around - silly things.


11.00am A bit of bird watching never did anycat any harm - gets the juices flowing when I chatter at the silly little feathery things. All this activity gives a cat a raging thirst. Good thing I can get a drink from the kitchen tap - mind you, I can only do this when no one is looking - my humans get a little grouchy when I do this - not sure why.....

11.30am - A quick cruise by my meal platter - hmmmm, not sure about these new biscuits. Much much prefurrred my last ones but according to my humans it was this food that made my skin tickle with a fiery burn that made me scratch like mad. I blame my humans for torturing me by making me wear a cone of shame.....hiss spit!

12.00pm Yawn, bit of nap needed, lucky for me the sun is coming in through this patio door - purrfect .zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

12.30pm Just checking out this chair for comfort levels - middling to good - may have to come back to this one to try it again.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

1pm Testing this chair for possible cute poses - my humans seem to feel I have to purrform a cute pose - this reduces them to a coo-ing ingratiating mess....sigh, I need to work on them again. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

1.30pm A quick nibble - hmmm, still not sure of these biscuits but a cat has to keep body and fluff together, if I don't eat I shall become weak and lose control of my cat-pack. So soldier on and eat up!

2pm Found a box, stalked it and made it cower in the corner. A quick pounce and the box was mine! I've not lost the touch....now what can I do?
2.10pm Found ANOTHER BOX! Purrfect - did a bit more pouncing and once again I triumphed! Think I need a power nap.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
3pm - Yawn - that was good, now - better inspect the house before they come home, I have got it just like I like it and they are sure to mess it up. Now to sit at the door til they arrive.


5pm Three of the four have been home for a quite a while now, the calming catatonic atmosphere I created has been replaced by music and chatter - enough to make a cat's ears wilt. My boys are doing homework at their compurrters and the big one is in the kitchen cooking - think it is time to cruise by and work my charms - see what I can get.... might even help with the washing up - I LoVe washing up time!

5.30am My last human is home, she always picks me up and buries her face into my fluffy tum - grrrrrr put me down human! How dare you!


6pm My humans seemed to have calmed down and the house is a little less frantic, best stare at the fire and let them know I wish it to be lit

6.30pm bliss

6.45pm Human! Come over here - the fire needs more wood - hurry up!

7pm I am feeling a little hot and bothered - think I will lie somewhere a little cooler - my foolish human has made the fire far too hot for my delicate self - sigh, once again I am being let down  by the staff.
7.15pm That's better, sitting behind the curtain and staring firmly at the neighbours has certainly cooled me down.

7.30 Gosh I'm tired, think I might take a nap.

7.35pm May be not! Ooh my favourite toy - a green-fluffy-snaky-thing-on-a-stick - this is when I turn into a levitating-cat - such is my power, my humans ooh and aah and  abase themselves at my paws - as they should.

8pm I know I shouldn't have - but ooh a cat has to let her fur down every now and then and return to her kittenhood

9 - 10pm it is the boys bed time, I have to escort them up and ensure they get to their beds safely. A quick safety check under their beds to catch any moths or monsters, then a noisy gallop up and down the hall way, a rattle around the loft conversion, back downstairs, job done, time for a nap before bed time.

11pm - Ahh, all humans are either in bed or on their way - the house is mine again, I know what I'll do, I will have a quick game with my favourite sponge ball, run up and down the stairs - I know they love it coz I keep hearing them mutter things from their beds!

So you see dear diary - I am a busy little furry soul, happy and safe in the knowledge that this little kingdom is mine and all the staff are at various stages of their training....I've got it sussed ****




****PS added by one of the humans (Dear little Pan-cat - your little world is about to be turned upside down and you will not be an only cat for much longer - I wish to apologise in advance but it will be for your own good and you will agree {eventually})

Good night.




8 comments:

  1. What a hoot. Just loved it. If I come back as a cat, please adopt me as I know I will be well loved.

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  2. Just had some more thoughts! There will be some future postings from you, all with cat-related themes now that Pan is to get a friend.

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  3. You should get that published, I thought it was brilliant!
    I think perhaps, I should write something similar through the eyes of my house partner, my husband!! Now, what should I start with??????

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  4. Sorry Pan girl, your days of peace and quiet are over. Beware of Pepper, it gets up your nose and make you sneeze and your eyes water!!

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  5. Very well written!! I loved the cowering box and her successful take over. My cat, Violet, will send me spinning trying to get to the faucet for a fresh drink of water. Eventhough she lives mostly on my screened porch now, she will still jump in the sink if inside. Cats bring so much to our lives when they are not so busy. Lovely post! Best, Vicki

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  6. wish my life was more like your cat's, sounds purrfect

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  7. Brilliant... cats do find fantastic places to sleep.... and can be too funny. One of ours used to run up the children's slide and slide down it backwards before racing up again just to slide down. Had us all in stitches! :)

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  8. Hahahaha!!! - 05.35am cancel that last happy comment - was booted off bed by snorty and grunty one..... going to find a spider to drop in his mouth - ha! That will teach him.

    Brilliant. Just brilliant! I so enjoy your imagination and commentary :) What it must be like to be in those sweet little kitty heads...

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Hi there...

Thank you ever so much for stopping by today - I'm really glad that you did. If you would like to leave me a comment then I would be delighted to hear from you,

Hawthorn x
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