Friday - hopefully my last day home from work, I should be - all things being equal - back on Monday but I am definitely going to being gentle on myself.
I popped in on Wednesday for a meeting (I say 'popped in' - that makes it sound rather cheerful and bouncy, I should have written ... I shuffled in or I dragged myself in ... to a meeting) and after just over two hours I wobbled my way back to the car and drove home. I can't remember much after that, apart from appreciating the back of my eyelids beneath a duvet.
Now today, Friday, although not fully fit - I feel alive, actually feel positive and even though I am not full of my normal bounce - I am getting there.
I spent most of Thursday knitting - it certainly made me feel as if I was mending. Then, reports regarding Queen Elizabeth's death hit the news and swamped every form of media from edge to edge. I found I was watching from that edge, an outsider, observing how the country was being engulfed. Knitting and observing.
Then a little later J from Winters End Rambler said this ...
I thought carefully and replied with ....
I then realised that is exactly what I was doing - knitting for my wellbeing. The comfort, the feel of being 'busy' when in reality I was washed out and languishing beneath a duvet. Knitting to keep an increasingly busy brain and a want-to-be-entertained set of fingers satisfied. Having had fairly long separation from knitting made me appreciate it that whole much more.
And - if a little guilt was to slip in and say that the jumper I am knitting is one which I'd retrieved from the naughty bin. For the third time. I sheepishly dragged it out and unceremoniously flung it on the carpet to see how much more was to do ..... to find that all that was required was to complete the raglan decreases on the back and the neck shaping on the front ... then to stitch it together. The sleeves are done, finished and waiting..... ? why had I not completed it?? I don't honestly know.
So - today between gently pottering around the house tidying it after 12 days of neglect - I am knitting.
So knit, even if it is only one row - knit - it soothes an awful lot of things.
And it feels rather empowering.